I recently read Do The Work by Steven Pressfield, a quick 100-page book, in one sitting.
It has received raving reviews from Seth Godin and was very easy and inspiring to read.
Below is a video by Steven about one of the methods he described in the book: The Foolscap Method.
Being too demanding of ourselves and others can be a real downer.
You know the person:
Unfortunately we can be those people with others without even knowing it.
If somebody is delaying your meeting with them, or hasn't returned your calls recently, or seems a little on edge when you talk, it's possible that this could be the culprit.
Here a 4 quick ways to be less demanding:
1. Don't Start the Conversation With a List
If you start out a conversation with a list of things you want the other person to do, that's a one-way street. "Okay, so I want you to do this, this and this. Okay? Great!" It might feel great for you, but that pretty much sucks on the other end.
2. Seek First to Understand
This is a timeless lesson from Covey's 7 Habits. When we approach a conversation truly wanting to understand the other person they will notice. It's actually pretty rare in this day and age to find someone who really listens. Be that person.
3. Focus on the Other Person
Throughout the conversation think about what will make the other person happy. What are they telling you that they want?
Repeat back to them what you think they're saying would make their life happier, more easy, more enjoyable. If it's possible for you to assist, suggest ways that you might be able to help them get those things.
4. Have Fun
Ideally we hang out with people that inspire us and that we have fun being around. Certainly that's why other people would want to be around us.
If it's not very fun for either person, then something really needs to change. Laugh. Go outside. Change it up. Play. Walk. Hike. Go somewhere nice for lunch. Enjoy each other's company. Call just to say hey.
Doing these things is not only a gift to the other person it's also a gift to us. Here are some of the obvious benefits:
These are also gifts we can give ourselves more directly and even alone.
We can make less lists for ourselves and enjoy life more moment to moment, take time to meditate and listen to ourselves more deeply, focus on our dreams and allow ourselves time to reflect on what really matters to us, and we can go out to lunch, watch comedies, play outside with our pets, walk and hike alone or enjoy our own company.
I know that sounds kind of funny, but it's true.
When is the last time you enjoyed your own company?
Don't try all of these suggestions at once, just try one the next time you talk with someone. Or take today (Thanksgiving) to write to someone with these things in mind.
Have fun!
My good Peace Corps friend and advisor Judy shared a book with my in preparation for our Living Simply month coming this January for Advance Humanity. It's called Living a Simple Life and I've really enjoyed it.
It's written by a woman who took a step back from her fast-paced life (even her hobbies and free time were fast-paced if that tells you something) and tries to make her life with her husband more meaningful and less full of stuff.
I'm halfway through the book and one the things that's struck me is this notion of having 4 or 5 major priorities in your life. It reminds me of Henry David Thoreau's quote in Walden,
Our life is frittered away by detail. An honest man has hardly need to count more than his ten fingers, or in extreme cases he may add his ten toes, and lump the rest. Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumb nail.
In the midst of this chopping sea of civilized life, such are the clouds and storms and quicksands and thousand-and-one items to be allowed for, that a man has to live, if he would not founder and go to the bottom and not make his port at all, by dead reckoning, and he must be a great calculator indeed who succeeds. Simplify, simplify.
A simple life can be a life's work and I don't know anyone who wouldn't say, "Sure, I'd enjoy a little more simplicity in my life." Everything we are bombarded by on a daily basis begs us to take on just one more thing, just this one more. I hope that my writing can be a haven from that bombardment.
As I collaborate with others to continue to build Advance Humanity into a successful movement of everyday humanitarians worldwide, I'll also continue writing here to explore the personal side of trying to keep a simple life amidst such complexity.
Here are my ideal accounts on my thumbnail:
I'm always late when it comes to hit songs, I love them six months or a year after they are popular.
For instance, I listened to Thrift Shop for the first time this summer when my sister introduced me to it. After listening to it for the 10th time that day, I finally figured out what the fuss had been about all year. The video was hilarious, the saxophone loop never gets out of your head and the topic is awesome. Who doesn't like thrift shopping?
The artist, Macklemore, had a really big year. He is an independent artist and as you can see in this "six page long" letter it's been a year that changed everything for them. I encourage you to read the article. It gives you a unique glimpse into the fast-paced and confusing world of music and it also made me appreciate the dilemma every artist faces: how do I do what I love without selling out?
In Macklemore's case his rise started with a fun and quirky song Thrift Shop, moved to Can't Hold Us, and then landed on Same Love which he says he "believed in more than any other song I’d ever written." It took a political stand on the issue of same sex marriage and made music part of the conversation.
My favorite part of his letter is the end,
"With all those accolades listed and experiences etched into history, the most meaningful and fulfilling experiences have come from being on a stage in front of the people that got us here. You all. There are the fans that will hop onto the Thrift Shop bandwagon when it rolls through, and the people that will still be here when it leaves. You are the people that are still reading this novel after 6 pages (ha!). I have you guys to thank. You’ve made this year what it is, and I will never be able to find the words to properly articulate my gratitude. I can only give you everything I have in me, night after night, and hope that when this all slows down a little bit, I’ll have enough courage to write about this insane experience. I love you all."
Thrift Shop
Can't Hold Us
Same Love
