Advance Humanity

Again, I really enjoy organization, categorization and simplification. I wrote what I did earlier because I began to think a lot about my own desire to record my thoughts, my feelings and my exploration of who I am and who I want to be. I have been writing in a journal for some time, just in one folder called My Journal, with each document in the folder organized by the date it was created. As I began posting these entries, I just would copy certain texts out of this folder and put then on Xanga that day or days later. I did this for about five months, until I got Blogger which allowed me to have multiple blogs under one central system. I could put my journal entries in one and say, trips I went on in another. The difficult then becomes, do I organize certain themes in my life, things I am thinking or going through? I’d like one place to list all the books and movies I like, another for my friends’ birthdays and things, another for the trips I go on, another for things about medical school and then the original for my journal entries. I don’t really think I like this anymore by this time and things have gotten too complex.
The point of my journal is to explore the different parts of my life, not to become its own part. Starting a separate blog called Acceptance which I’ve written in for the last two months, I realize that I have separated a part of myself into something else which I think “should be.” The very title indicates that I feel like I should be accepting a certain lot for myself, as a doctor, as a medical school student, as a pre-medical student. Why do I feel like this? There are a lot of reasons of course, a lot of different reasons that I am working through. Partly, I am working through those feelings in my journal, a system that incorporates my feelings, thoughts, hopes and dreams about my life, part of which are my considerations about medical school. Medical school and the whole medical field is a consideration in part of my life, my life isn’t centered around it and my life isn’t a part of it. Similar to how Stephen King wrote about writing. He used to have a desk in the center of his study so that he could go in and write for hours at a time. The huge problem with that, which he wrote about in his book On Writing, is that he was using life as a support system for writing. It’s the other way around, he said. Writing is a support system for life. Life is the goal, the adventure and the journey. Medical school isn’t, writing isn’t, cars aren’t, music isn’t, none of that stuff is. I am living to live, to experience life fully in my own way, to grow in my own wisdom, and to learn to love better. I won’t be writing in a separate “journal” for acceptance, my acceptance of who I am will begin with me. If I feel like writing about it for any reason, it will go in My Journal just it always has. And as far as the rest of My Life is concerned, whether it’s adventures, random wisdom, classes, friends or whatnot, if I feel like writing about it and giving it it’s own blog then so be it. It isn’t meant to become a center of my life, a category that completes me, or even some elaborate system to that is meant to make me more interesting, a better person or gain some kind of inner peace. Improving myself starts with myself, my motivation, my principles and my values. My value starts there too. So, while all that is going on, I will keep writing in my journal, if I want to put it up it will go here on my central blog and it will remain named Advance Humanity. That, after all, is the catch phrase which I kept coming across as I used the thesaurus to conclude on this whole acceptance issue. I think it helps to define my principles, my values and in someway it helps define me. That’s my story for now and I’m sticking to it…for now.

Advance: exploration, searching, probing, studying, understanding, discovering, voyaging, journeying, learning, insight, wisdom, harmony, inner peace, perception, acuity, observation, awareness, sensitivity, knowledge, discovery, advance as breakthrough, discovery, new idea, revolution, development, growth, improvement, expansion, increase, training, education, enhancement, change, enrichment, excellence, fulfillment, completion, realization, rightness, progress, fortification, strengthening, further explanation, elaboration, clarification, explaining, elucidation, revelation, advance.

Humanity: humankind, civilization, human race, people, kindness, charity, compassion, sympathy, mercy, care, empathy, consideration, thoughtfulness, contemplation, respect, reflection, community, nation, intimates, family, ancestors, relations, introduce, development, evolution, progress, refinement, gentleness, kindheartedness, humanity.