5 Smart Things To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do

I have gotten a lot of wonderful responses to my recent post on how I'm finding my voice again. If you haven’t read it, it’s right over here. A lot of former Peace Corps Volunteers in particular said they felt like the article was written personally for them; I was telling their story by telling mine.

I hear you loud and clear. And thank you. That wasn’t an easy piece for me to write, but I want to go further and keep writing more like it. So here we are.

What do we do when we don’t know what the hell has happened and who we are anymore?

As I mentioned before, there are four things that I’ve done recently that have really helped me find my voice (exercising, really sharing, being inspired and getting myself out there), but it has been a rollercoaster. There are good weeks when I feel like I’m making progress, and bad weeks when I feel like I’m slipping backward down a snowy hill. It’s cold, lonely, depressing and scary.

So what do I do when I feel like the real me (the me I was most proud of and excited to see every day) feels years away? What do I do when it all seems so damn confusing and unnecessarily complex?

I've been chipping away at it.

Piece by piece, I've been trying to knock off the dirt and scrape off the muck that has covered up the treasure of who I know I can be.

It hasn’t happened all at once, but it's been getting better.

Here are five more things that have helped me uncover who I really want to be. These are complementary to the four voice-finding suggestions I made before and help answer the question "What do I do when I don’t know what in the world I’m doing?"

1. Hang Out with Energy-Givers. There are certain people out there who are givers: they give energy, love, support and excitement to those around them. They are generous and sweet, fun and exciting, and (not surprisingly) people love being near them. You deserve to be around those people. How? The price of being around people like that is that you need to be a giver too. Think of who you know that meets that description and think on what you could give to them. Could you send them a compliment, a nice thank you email, an actual thank you note, a book they might like, a small package in the mail, take them out to coffee, buy them lunch or take them on a hike? I have done every single one of those things at least once in the last month and it’s always worked out great. You may have noticed they are listed in increasing complexity and price. Pick one that feels comfortable for you right now.

2. Trek Out Into The Wilderness. I mean this quite literally - I’m hiking out into the woods. Tuesday morning I hiked into a forest and hung out in a cabin. This morning I went on a two hour hike before 9am. It’s not easy waking up early, but awesome has a price. Pay the price and you gain admission to clarity, fun and feeling a whole lot better. I got more done in an hour in that cabin than I had done in the past two months on an important project. Pretty crazy. It’s amazing what some fresh grass, tall trees and a lack of wifi can accomplish. Whatever wilderness looks like for you, getting out into it might be just what the doctor ordered.

3. Get a Fruit Basket. We started some new snack systems in our house and they are working great. Inspired by my wonderful friend Bonnie, we have a jar full of healthy snacks like trail mix and granola bars, and on our table we have a big bowl of fresh fruit of every kind. That combined with smoothies (simple & easy to make) give me very little excuse to eat badly. I can literally stick my hand out and grab something healthy. I feel better, I’m not hungry much at all, and my energy is going through the roof.

4. Think of "Get To", Not "Have To". This is a mental game and I want to thank Wade for reminding of me how important this is. It’s easy to fall into the trap of I Have To. But the truth is, I Get To. Everything is a choice and an opportunity. I Get To work on this project for a client I love. I Get To go on a hike if I want to and get healthier to boot. Have To makes me feel like a victim. Get To makes me feel like an adventurer. Every day, a little more than yesterday, I’m choosing Get To.

5. Take Responsibility for Every Area of Your Life. Brace yourself, this one is a doozy. The happiest people I have ever met believe they are responsible for what goes on inside their head and how they live day in and day out. I also know the happiest times in my life were when I had a peaceful mind and I was living, day in and day out, according to my values and who I really wanted to be. The way there is taking responsibility. I took responsibility for what was in my head (meditation helped a lot) and I made choices that allowed me to deal with whatever came my way. I couldn’t control the weather, but I could bring an umbrella. I couldn’t control how people treated me, but I could control how I reacted. I couldn't control how people act, but I could choose to be around them or not. The list goes on but it starts with this: take responsibility for every area of your life. Thank you Evan, Bob and Jonathan for the conversations that solidified this for me.

So there they are, five not-so-secret ingredients to a happier and healthier life. Ounce by ounce, as the weight sloughs off, I’m feeling more like the person I used to be. And with a little bit of hustle and hope, ounce by ounce, each of these strategies is helping me replace that weight with muscle and strength to create the kind of life I can be proud of.

Thank you all for your kind words and your encouragement, whether on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter or email. It means the world to me and I love keeping the conversation going.

Thank you all from the bottom of my (slightly less fatty) heart.

How to Lose 100 Pounds Playing Video Games

A little inspiration for today. This story comes from a gentleman nicknamed Kane. You can see his whole story in just two pictures.

The Summary

By changing one simple thing that he loved (playing video games) into a more healthy activity, he lost over 100 pounds in one year. You can read the whole story here.

The Bike

Tunga and I thought it would be fun to try it out, so we ordered one over a year ago. It's a simple bike and we love it.

I keep it downstairs right next to my office and use it when I'm on phone calls, watching movies, reading, watching a class online or pretty much anytime I would otherwise be sitting. That combined with my standing desk means, even though I work at home, I'm not sitting very much. Which is a good thing since sitting too much may just kill you.

If you are interested in the bike, you can find it here.

The Joys and Perils of Working for Yourself

I’ve been working for myself for the past 5 years. During that time I have served as an advisor and VP to an incredible Mongolian CEO and his tech startup, started and led a charitable foundation, did consulting work while completing grad school, served on several nonprofit boards, started my own company, worked with another startup, survived a complete layoff, and been a full-time entrepreneur. I’ve made more each year than the year before, starting from a solid Peace Corps salary of $250 a month and going up from there. I’ve also learned a ton (and not always the “Yeah, this is fun!” kind of learning, often the “Yikes…this hurts” kind of learning).

With that in mind, I’d like to share some things I’ve learned the hard way so you don’t have to. On the spectrum from Yeah! to Yikes, I will try to keep this essay on the Yeah! side.

Here are 5 tips on how to maximize joy and minimize the perils of working for yourself in our wild and exciting world:

1. Notice That Everything Has Changed. For a long time there has been a simple prescription for success: go to school, study hard, graduate, work hard, be loyal, get in debt, save up, pay off debt, retire and chill out. That model worked for decades but now not so much. Degrees don’t guaranteed jobs. The average stay in a company is more like two years, not ten. And more people work for themselves than ever before. Further, the idea of delayed enjoyment of life through retirement is less appealing. People are living simpler, being more creative, self-reliant, entrepreneurial and focused on work-life balance. We live in one of the most creative times in history and it’s a great opportunity to rethink how you are making a living and (more importantly) how you are making a life.

2. Get Clear on What Success Means to You. It’s easy to fall into the trap of doing what other people expect of us, to try to please people and follow a set path. It’s a lot harder to follow your own voice, say no to things and create your own path. It’s possible though, and it’s worth it. The most helpful first step I’ve found is to get clearer on my values and what success looks like for me. I’ve memorized my top 5 values (in order) and loved the process so much that I created a simple Uncovering Your Values worksheet which you can download here for free.

3. Don’t Run Scared, Run Experiments. One way I talk myself out of things is by overthinking them. I see the end product in my head and it’s so big and perfect that it seems impossible and I don’t even start. In my better moments however, I just think “Why not?” and just start with something small. I didn’t picture this whole essay for instance, I just started with a title. Then an outline. Then added sentences. Then it was done. I ask myself, “What’s the next little step I can take to experiment toward my new fun idea?” Derek explains this concept really well here (it took him from a one-click website to a $22 million dollars which he then gave away). The first time I sold my guide online and someone paid me when they didn’t have to, it was amazing! Now it happens all the time, but I had to start somewhere.

4. Take Care of Yourself. As they say, all work and no play leads to a nervous breakdown. And probably 50 extra pounds. Exercise is super important, especially when you are too busy to exercise. Research has shown that not exercising is the same as taking a depressant. Yikes. No thanks. Pick something you love and make it a regular thing. Get creative and mix work and play, hike and talk, go on walks for meetings, or bike and play video games like this guy who lost 135 pounds. I own this bike and love it.

5. Create an Advisory Board. Being an awesome entrepreneur (an awesomepreneur if you will) can be lonely. When I work at home or sit in the coffee shop writing posts like this, it’s easy to get lost in my own thoughts. Dreamers need to stick together. I have a short list of people who inspire me and I can call anytime to talk about just about anything. I love them to pieces and each one of them is priceless. Start with one person you love talking to and go from there. Don’t have one yet? Send me an email.

That’s it for now! I will share more tips as time goes on, but those are a fun place to start. In the spirit of experimenting, I’m also starting a video series for Awesomepreneurs, so I look forward to sharing those with you.

In the meantime, I wish you the best in your own entrepreneurial adventure whenever you may be!

How I Lost 15 Pounds with My Apple Watch

In Peace Corps I lost 70 pounds and got into the best shape of my life. It was a wonderful experience. Slightly less wonderful has been gaining all of that weight back since finishing Peace Corps. For the past several months I’ve focused a lot more on healthy eating and exercise and was pretty psyched to get an Apple Watch to help me in my adventure to get more fit.

In my first two months of using it, I have lost 15 pounds.

Let me explain a bit on how Apple Watch works and how it’s helped me lose that weight:

1. First, It’s Fun. I’m human. If something is fun, I’m much more likely to do it. And Apple Watch is fun. It turns exercise into a game and gives you reminders throughout the day on how you are doing in three categories: Movement (calories burned), Exercise (minutes of activity at or above a brisk walk) and Standing (standing at least 1 minute every hour). There is a ring for each category and they fill throughout the day as they are achieved. The Standing (12 hrs/day) and Exercise (30 min/day) goals are based on decades of research and aren’t adjustable, but your Calorie goal is up to you. I started at 450 calories a day and now I’m up to 620. It also gives you badges for achievements, which I will explain later.

2. It’s Smart. The watch does several things very well. It measures your heart rate with four sensors, it tracks your movement with an accelerometer and connects with the GPS in your phone. Combined these things means it tracks your heart rate, steps taken, stairs climbed, distance, pace and calories burned all day long. Based on your height, weight, age and gender it then calculates your target heart rate and holds you to that in exercise mode. Which means…

3. It’s Untrickable. Here’s an example: I like hiking, but as any hiker knows there are easy hikes and hard hikes, steep inclines and plenty of downhill trots. Because Apple Watch measures my heart rate and distance, it knows when I am busting my butt and when I’m not. So when I hike for 2 hours, although it will track the entire time as activity I might only get 30 minutes counted toward my green Exercise ring for the day because that was when my heart rate was high enough. It’s pretty incredible. This goes for the Calorie ring too of course, when your heart rate is higher, you are burning more calories and it knows that.

4. It’s Comfortable. I love having it on and that’s pretty important. It is extremely comfortable. It’s also very convenient: I can check messages, emails, weather, directions, skype, music, time, and more, so it’s something I enjoy having on. Other than my wedding ring, it’s the only thing I have on me all the time. Because of that, it’s constantly measuring my activity and keeps track of everything I do throughout the day, including a random sprint around the house, carrying my wife up the stairs or walking a little faster just because why not?

5. It’s Rewarding. I found myself, right from the beginning, exercising more than I normally would. I’ve also gotten more adventurous and used the watch hiking, walking, biking, running and even kayaking. I also started saying “Yes” more when someone would suggest something healthy. Want to go on a walk? Sure! Want to go on a hike in the morning? Yep! How about we walk into town instead of drive? Okie dokie. I would welcome the chance to fill up my rings early in the day because…

6. It’s Unrelenting. There have been plenty of evenings where I have had several hundred more calories to go for the day and Apple Watch doesn’t have a way to input excuses. You either fill your ring or you don’t. So I get on my stationary bike and I stay on it until I fill up the ring. So far I have filled my Movement and Exercise rings every single day since I’ve had it and that’s why I lost 15 pounds. No excuses. Pretty simple.

I’ve tried a lot of things over the years to get more fit and this has been the most fun. As I exercise more and make healthier choices, I eat better and I’m more conscious of how I am living day to day. I’ve started taking more walking meetings rather than sitting and call people while I hike, which I really like. I also read more and watch things for fun while I’m biking, I have more conversations with people I love, I sleep better, my appetite is healthier, I’m in a better mood and I feel better about myself.

So that’s how I’ve lost 15 pounds with my Apple Watch.

I'm excited to lose more (50 pounds total) and I look forward to telling you what I learn in the coming months on that journey!

P.S. I've also heard great things about Fitbit, Misfit, Up and other trackers too. So check those out too if you are interested in the Apple Watch for fitness.